Nostradennis

Do yourself a favor and check out the latest offerings on Dennis Diehl's site. There are several rare treats:

Necro-Evangelism-When Dead Men Do Tell Tales (Garner Ted speaketh still!)

Fleecing the Flock 101...They Actually Have Classes!

The Planet Venus and Satan's Fall

and then a tip of the hat to that great prognosticator Nostradamus, Nostradennis

Who'd have thunk it!?

Dwight flight

According to the grapevine, WCG has recently placed all of Dwight Armstrong's hymns into the public domain, which means they're available for anyone who wants to make use of them.

Poor old Dwight got a bad press in some quarters. His hymns were described as dirges, and there were dark mutterings about plagiarism of tunes. But I have to say, after growing up with the very real dirges of Lutheran liturgy and hymnody, I found them (or at least some of them) quite refreshing when I first started attending. There is nothing as plain awful as a badly tuned organ accompanying a badly tuned congregation singing something that should have received a decent burial in the 16th century.

As for the plagiarism: it seems to have been something of an Armstrong family tradition. The words were from the Psalms, so I guess that was okay. The tunes are apparently suspiciously similar to a Scottish Psalter of long ago. If Dwight managed to make a buck out of his brother's paranoia about Protestant songs, well, that's fine by me. I hope he at least got his tithes back.

These days it may be all praise choruses and waving arms, but the old purple book still has its charms... kind of.

5 Personal favorites:
How Excellent in all the Earth (7)
O Eternal who shall dwell (14)
For Even from my Youth O God (52)
Holy Mighty Majesty (75)
He Shall Reign for Evermore (78) - complete with a "melancholy sparrow" :)

5 Personal un-favorites:
By the Waters of Babylon (103) - now the Boney M version I liked!
Blest and Happy Is the Man (1) - this one was thrashed to death
Let Thy Chastening be in Measure (31) - "my loins are filled with burning" :o
But as for me I'll call on God (45) - top of the hit parade when GTA was chucked out
O Pity Me, Be Gracious God (47) - and pity anyone trying to sing this one!

Tunnel Vision

I once wrote that Vision, the flagship magazine of David Hulme’s group, was the best of the bunch. Wrong. It’s merely the most pretentious.

That realization was brought home after reading the Vision review of James Tabor’s The Jesus Dynasty. Sect heavyweights Hulme and Peter Nathan (former WCG Regional Director for New Zealand) collaborated on a lengthy pasting of Tabor’s book. Fair enough, if the criticism is valid. But is it?

They begin by lumping Dynasty together with The Last Week by Jesus Seminar scholars Crossan and Borg. Why? These are very different books. The Last Week gets the briefer treatment, and Crossan and Borg are chided for (wait for it!) not adopting the Wednesday crucifixion theory! Hulme and Nathan are then reduced to citing antiquated sources (Torrey, 1907; Pearson, 1939; Bullinger, 1922) to make Herbert Armstrong’s adopted reconstruction look credible (it’s noticeable that they don’t cite Hoeh.) The trouble is that the theory is a curiosity that has never gained acceptance, probably for very good reasons. If Hulme thinks this is the crux of a relevant discussion of The Last Week then he obviously needs to reread the book.

Tabor is the next for the chop, but here the Pasadena-based duo has to be careful. Tabor has previously been interviewed in Vision, and in their Paul television promotional, as a scholarly authority. What to do? The strategy they adopt is to both slap him around and then pat him on the head with an air of condescension.

The criticism: Tabor “doesn’t examine every side of an issue”, miracles “have no place in Tabor’s approach to history”, he believes that Paul and James were “antithetical” to each other; he believes “the Gospels were not written by eyewitnesses”, he adopts a Thursday crucifixion reconstruction, and he suggests Jesus didn’t use matzos at the Last Supper. Then, in a final sideswipe, they accuse the unfortunate Dr. Tabor of being a “neo-Ebionite.”

Ouch.

While some have expressed keen reservations about the approach Dr. Tabor takes in The Jesus Dynasty, Vision’s rather facile objections miss those issues entirely.

If anyone deserves to be labeled “neo-Ebionite” it’s church leaders like Hulme. The Ebionites were the Jewish Christians of the first century. Mind you, Hulme isn’t a very good Ebionite because he tries to hold together the Old Testament elements alongside Protestant assumptions. Neither fish nor fowl, there’s a built in contradiction at the heart of this posture which just doesn’t work (witness the disintegration of the WCG.)

There are strong reasons why the Gospels can’t be regarded as eyewitness documents – and they’re spelled out in any college level textbook on the subject. Putting aside the speculative side of Tabor’s book, in this matter he’s only telling it like it is – honestly.

Miracles have no part to play in an academic approach to history. That doesn’t mean they can’t happen, or that there are no fairies at the bottom of Hulme’s garden, it just means that if you’re writing history you can’t excuse a weak argument with special pleading.

And if Hulme and Nathan aren’t aware of the broad consensus on the tension between the Jerusalem Church and the Pauline mission, well, they’re not nearly as well read as they make out.

A final observation: the story of the early church is a bit like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle with 900 pieces missing. The actual hard data is surprisingly thin, and any reconstruction – Tabor’s, Crossan’s or Hulme’s – must be speculative to some extent. Some reconstructions are more probable than others, but if you had to put them on a scale of most to least likely, the traditional Armstrong version would drop right off the improbability end with a solid clunk.

If The Jesus Dynasty has rattled a few COG cages then that’s no bad thing.


Addendum: You can hear James Tabor speaking about his book on Tulsa Public Radio.

Journal holds up a mirror to our identity

I'm a big fan of The Journal. It's not something that many of the more radical ex-COG folk understand, but Dixon Cartwright strikes me as a decent man and a highly professional editor. The Journal exists to cater for those still within the wider fold, and overall it does a great job.

That doesn't mean agreeing with everything that appears there. The latest issue is no exception. To start with there's a lead article by Ian Boyne about the latest success his Jamaican branch of CGI has chalked up.

"Some Church of God critics say it is in decline, but it is certainly not declining in Jamaica!"

I've exchanged a few emails with Ian, and without giving away any confidences I think I can safely say that the man is something of a puzzle: part intellectual gadfly, part dogmatist and 100% self publicist. How does he hold it all together? And how will the Ian-o-centric Jamaican CGI hold itself together when he eventually, inevitably goes the way of all flesh?

James Tabor responds to Ken Westby's review of The Jesus Dynasty in the letters section, followed by a lengthy rave on Herbal themes from Eric Snow. There are only three letters in this issue, which must be a new minimalist record, but the third is a hoot: a brief (!), humorous comment on the WCG's on-off name change.

If there's a focus to this issue it's the brutal act of disfellowship, and Dixon launches it with a rare editorial on the subject, focusing on the treatment Dan Cafourek received at the hands of those Holy Spirit-led fellows who determine the direction of the United Church of God. Dixon writes:

"The institution of disfellowship in the COGs over the years has been a hateloaded weapon for church leaders to keep lower-echelon church members in line through one of the cruelest forms of intimidation: hanging over people’s heads the threat of the loss of their very salvation."

BI enthusiast Steve Collins soaks up most of the remaining column inches with an essay on the Babylonian Captivity (not the historic one - the coming one y'know.) I'd give you a precis, but would rather leap naked off a very tall building than waste the valuable time.

So it's another mixed bag. But the genius of The Journal is in the combination of the good, the bad and the ugly. It holds up a mirror to the community that calls itself the Church of God, and the reflection is uncannily accurate.

(The Journal website is www.thejournal.org )

Polybabble

Bob Thiel responded to the Heavy Canon Fire posting by protesting loudly: "As far as those "mythical COG leaders of the apostolic age"--these leaders were NOT mythical. There is more information about some of them than there are about most of the early leaders in the Apostolic Succession lists of the Romans and especially the Orthodox."

Clicking across to Bob's list of apostolic COG leaders was enlightening. He starts off with the usual suspects: Peter, Paul, James & John. Uh huh. Well, let's be clear, every Christian sect claims these figures as their own.

Then Bob pulls together a list of early church luminaries who, in his view, are authentic COG Christians. They include Papias, Polycarp, Melito of Sardis and some more obscure names.

I realize that this won't be the most riveting subject for most readers, so to cut to the quick, there is absolutely no evidence that any of these characters championed COG distinctives such as the Sabbath (though Bob tries to prove otherwise.) The best he can do is demonstrate that they were 'Quartodecimans', keeping Easter on the Passover dates. Big deal, so did the entire Eastern Church at that time. Bob spins this by writing: Easter was not observed by the second century Christians in Asia Minor, such as Polycarp. He and others observed Passover.

No Bob. They kept Easter on the Passover dates.

Let's have a quick look at Polycarp. He was a bishop in Turkey. Bob desperately wants to COGgize him because he was, according to tradition, a disciple of John. That tradition is preserved by a bloke called Tertullian who was anything but a model of COG Christianity, and Irenaeus, another very unCOG-like character. Why would these Catholic apologists lend credibility to Polycarp if he was, in their view, a heretical COG leader?

Polycarp trekked his way to Rome to discuss the aforementioned dating of Easter with the Pope, and they parted amicably as brothers, agreeing to disagree. Bob concedes as much when he quotes Irenaeus: And in this state of affairs they held fellowship with each other; and Anicetus (the Pope) conceded to Polycarp in the Church the celebration of the Eucharist, by way of showing him respect.

Does this sound like a COG leader? Notice that Polycarp celebrated the Lord's Supper (eucharist) in Rome with the Pope's blessing. That'd be like Rod Meredith celebrating the mass in Saint Peters with Ratzinger looking on.

Apart from a letter addressed to the Philippian church, a few nice little anecdotes and a heroic tale of martyrdom, that's it! That's what we know about Polycarp.

So, how does Bob manage to shoe-horn him into the fictive pre-history of COGism? Beats me, and I've read his rather long treatise on the subject. According to Bob he even kept the Sabbath; here's his third proof:

His church reported about the him and the Sabbath.
Huh?

And now a little more from that treatise. You can judge its lucidity for yourself.

Polycarp is unique among any claimed to be a direct successor to any of the apostles. He is the only possible second century direct apostolic successor considered by any church I am aware that there was a letter written to him while he was alive. He is the only possible direct apostolic successor considered by any church I am aware that to have written any document that we still possess to this day (there is a letter claimed to have been written by Clement of Rome, however, it does not say that he wrote it, nor is Clement considered to be the direct successor of any apostle--the Roman Catholic Church claims that Linus was Peter's direct successor; there are also letters written by Ignatius of Antioch, but the two Antiochian Churches I am aware of claim that Evodius, not Ignatius, was Peter's direct successor). Polycarp is the only possible direct apostolic successor considered by any church I am aware that to have any document written about him within a few weeks of his death.

Anyone who can make sense of that paragraph deserves an advanced diploma in reading comprehension.

Heavy canon fire

LCG web commentator and church history buff Bob Thiel writes: "one of the reasons that the COGs are NOT Protestant is that we believe the Bible and do not believe that anyone... is entitled to change it."

Which led me to think again about the whole canon issue.

To provide a bit of an introduction, Bob regards the Bible - his non-Protestant canon (which actually is the Protestant canon) - as a given. It kinda dropped out of the sky one day, intact, fully formed and fluttering gaily down beneath a Holy Spirit parachute. Those nasty Church Fathers and proto-Catholics had nothing to do with it. If I understand Bob correctly, he champions a reconstruction where the Eastern church created the current canon before it invented ikons, pillar saints and liturgical chants, and was still under the influence of those mysterious and mythical COG leaders of the apostolic age.

Yeah, right.

I disagree with Bob, though I don't doubt his sincerity (as the old refrain goes, folk can be "sincerely wrong.") For me, this was a real "trunk of the tree" issue several years ago, as it affects the whole underpinning of fundamentalist and evangelical belief. I even wrote a short article on the subject which attracted a bit of attention. It sorely needs a rewrite, which I'm hoping to get done later this year (then it'll appear as a PDF file on otagosh.) Currently the New Testament paper that I'm doing touches on this issue, and there's more to add. But despite the fact that it's a little dated, I stand behind what I said then.

Bottom line: for centuries the canon was subject to change after change as Christians of all hues and stripes debated what to include. And in some cases they got it terribly wrong in the final cut. The article explains this in some detail. I'll expand on this theme in later postings.

Painful moments on The Painful Truth

Long before the late and unlamented ambassadorwatch.co.nz site appeared, Ed Mentell's Painful Truth was a place where "exxies" could hang out, chew the fat, cuss a little and work through their issues with a manipulative, controlling religious movement called the Worldwide Church of God. It wasn't always subtle, but it was effective.

A year or three ago Mike Minton took on Ed's mantle. Change can be upsetting, but Mike brought his own sense of humor and personal verve to the operation. I've never met Mike "in the flesh", but after exchanging scores of emails I count him as a good friend.

Sadly, it seems that in the latest transfer of the reins, the site has developed speed wobbles, flipped and crashed in a hail of mixed metaphors. Some people are stressed out at the thought that the PT is in jeopardy, harsh words have been exchanged and blame is being spread like plum jam on English muffins.

Mike is assuring folks that an archived version will appear again at herbertwarmstrong.com, but the partly revamped version produced under John B's short editorship has apparently been removed for good. The PT forum, always a place for the free and frank exchange of views, is full of unhappy campers.

I hope people will give Mike the benefit of the doubt and time and space while the dust settles. In case anyone hasn't clicked yet, running a website like the Painful Truth, or the old AW, is no easy mission, and the webmaster can be left carrying the responsibility with little to show in return other than bills, threats, lost time and sapped energy. I'm not in the loop on the whys and wherefores, but it's a bit gut-wrenching to see good people like Mike, John and other regulars (many of whom were also AW regulars) at loggerheads. Let's all take a deep breath. Maybe it's time for someone with the time and talent to bring out a completely new website to complement the PT, or maybe fill the niche vacated by the pre-blog AW. One thing I do know, there's no lack of able candidates - if one cares to raise their hand...

We all get passionate about things that matter to us, and PT readers - especially those on the forum - understandably feel a sense of shared ownership. At the end of the day, though, it's the webmaster who carries the can. I'm guessing that a few deep breaths and some kind words of appreciation to all concerned may be more helpful at the moment than simply spitting the dummy.

Two cents worth on The Herb-Vinci Code

Last night I finally got around to seeing the movie version of The Da Vinci Code. Everybody has an opinion about this one: too long, too full of inaccuracies... whatever. My two-cents worth is that it was quite good, though maybe it helped to have read the book first.

DVC is a pot-boiler that blasted through the stratosphere for no apparent reason. Other contentious books on a similar theme have quickly sunk beneath the radar screens, but Dan Brown seems to have hit a nerve at ju$t (!) the right time to rake in the profits from an unlikely subject.

The movie is more balanced than the book. Ron Howard has his hero (Robert Langdon) challenge Leigh Teabing's constant overselling of the conspiracy angle, and Sophie Neveu needn't say anything with a wistfully seductive smile like that... (sigh)

COGophiles like Spanky Meredith initially had positive things to say about Dan Brown's book, probably because anyone who has un-nice things to say about early Orthodoxy/Catholicism is seen as some kind of ally ("the enemy of my enemy..."). Lately though the tide has turned and the pulpit-pounders seem to have have gleefully joined the Evangelical debunkers.

Da Vinci Code deserves a full measure of debunking, but the trouble is that the eager DVC-bashers often have even less credibility than Brown. The best offering (here goes another 2c) is Bart Ehrman's Truth & Fiction in the Da Vinci Code. But, hey, it's a novel, not a tome of church history!

As for those COG reviewers, gimme a break. This is a movement that bought a nuttier conspiracy theory than anything Dan Brown has ever come up with: let's call it the Herb-Vinci Code. You may know it as British Israelism. Tea-Tephi, Jeremiah, Irish royalty, Mrs Windsor, sea gates... what was J.H. Allen smoking? And what were we doing giving that garbage even a second glance.

DVC at least has the virtue of using (very badly) some real history. Yes, he gets it all muddled and charges off in strange directions, but Allen, Armstrong, Collins and White haven't even got that far before launching off the deep end into a fantasy-history which they proclaim to be true beyond doubt.

Mind you, who knows, maybe Craig has already sold the movie rights to "Origin of Nations." If not, I'll put in the first bid. Two cents.

The quality of COG humor

COG humor - the kind the ministers toss from their pulpits - has always been a blunt instrument. Regrettably it has on occasion been openly racist. There's the prominent Aussie UCG minister who delights in using the term "bubble butt" to describe women of color, while I recollect vividly a one-liner from former Auckland WCG pastor Jack Croucher relating to what can only be euphemistically called the "color-coordination tastes" of Afro-Americans. The congregation predictably guffawed in delight.

But the years have passed and we've all got a little more circumspect about such things. In my salad days I admit to engaging in a few Peter Sellers-type impressions. Back then I didn't know any Asian people personally, however when you work alongside a dignified Sri Lankan woman with a beautiful but pronounced accent, you suddenly realize just how downright churlish it is to make fun of it. To call it "political correctness" is to miss the point entirely. It's simply about treating other people with respect and a measure of dignity. Can someone claiming to be Christian possibly do less?

Enter Jerold Aust, Good News writer and UCG minister. Such subtleties are apparently lost on this bloke who, on a website where he preens and fluffs about his Christian beliefs, has a little collection called "Learn Chinese in Five Minutes." It's not explicitly racist, but you'd have to wonder whether it's exactly appropriate. In case you're wondering whether I'm entirely objective in pointing this out, it was a UCG member who first raised the question and set me thinking. Here's what Mr Aust posted (currently appearing at http://www.jwaust.com/anthology.php)

1) That is not right.........................Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?.............Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP...............................Kum Hia Nao
4) Small Horse...............................Tai Ni Po Ni
5) Did you go to the beach?..................Wai Yu So Tan
6) I bumped into a coffee table..............Ai Bang Mai Ni
7) I think you need a face lift..............Chin Tu Fat
8) It is very dark in here...................Wai So Dim
9) I thought you were on a diet.............Wai Yu Mun Ching
10) This is a tow away zone..................No Pah King
11) Our meeting is scheduled for next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
12) Staying out of sight.....................Lei Ying Lo
13) He is cleaning his automobile............Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive..............Yu Stin Ki Pu
Have a great week and weekend.~jwa

Funny? Perhaps some of the brethren in Singapore or Burma might like to comment. It would be interesting to find out from UCG how they "officially" feel about this kind of ragging.

Links worth checking

Anyone who has missed their regular dose of Diehl following the closure of the old AW, can get a fresh fix here. Den is that rare variety of former WCG pastor who has managed to avoid (a) sliding into a tithe-garnering splinter ministry or (b) flipping over to a variety of Evangelical mush... and he's kept a sense of humor along with his integrity! Thanks to fellow blogger Felix for pointing out the link.

Gary Scott has some very perceptive comments on one of the more obscure mini-COGs, David Pack's Restored Church of God. It's always a good idea to resist the "blame the victim" mentality, but sheesh, what kind of IQ is required to believe this guy? Read it and weep.